BONES: Put It Out Of Its Misery

After seeing Thursday’s episode, I realize that “Bones” makes me sad in so many ways.

I feel sad for the show that it once was. It was good back when Zach was the assistant. The cases made sense and there was still plenty of chemistry between the characters.

I feel sad how the current season is shaping up. Words cannot express how much I hate Booth’s love interest Hannah and it no longer seems to matter why a murder happened. Characters, instead of growing and changing, seem stuck and comical. There are scenes that are supposed to be filled with meaning — long looks between people and whole exchanges between estranged characters — but just come across as flat and weird (See the final “give me your sunglasses” scene from this week’s episode. So silly).

I feel sad for what the show could have been. The fixes would have been easy. They could have revealed that Bones actually has Asperger’s syndrome. How amazing would it have been to give us a brilliant heroine who has a disability but is still hot? And they could have hired a better team of writers who actually know about science and good plotting.

But my unwavering sadness doesn’t hold a lot of sway over at the FOX network, so I guess in order to make my case I should approach the problem a little more objectively.

As far as I can tell, “Bones” could go three directions:

1) It could stay the course and fizzle out in a season or two, only to be remembered as one of those “once good” shows, like “ER.”

2) It could be cancelled.

3) It could get revamped.

Option 3 would be simple (tighten the scripts; restore the original banter between Booth and Bones; hire a few consultants who actually know about science.) but it won’t happen. Shows rarely have the necessary insight to look at themselves objectively and realize that they have gotten off track.

Option 2 could happen based on the following facts:

FACT: A new FOX reality show, “The X Factor,” must have three hours a week of programming next fall.

FACT: “Lone Star” was cancelled, making one hour available.

FACT:  “The Good Guys” and “Running Wilde” will be the next to go, providing another hour and a half.

FACT: After that, the choices are “Fringe,” “Lie to Me,” and “Bones.”

FACT: “Bones” does not have nearly the same storytelling ability of “Fringe” or even “Lie To Me.”

But “Bones” will not be cancelled based on one final fact:

FACT: “Bones” has about 9 million viewers compared to “Fringe” with 5 million and “Lie to Me” with 4.3 million.

With option 3 out and option 2 unlikely, we are left with option 1 —  “Bones” can stay the course and fizzle out within a season or two. It will join legions of other shows that have done the same thing — once good series that stayed on way beyond their peak. Let me start of list: “Roseanne,” “The Cosby Show,” “NYPD Blue,” “CSI,” “Law & Order,” “Lilias, Yoga and You” (ran for 16 years on PBS), “The X-files,” “24”…

It’s a list that makes me sad.

—Xtine